Coming back home from China, I had a lousy morning and then went to lunch with dad. We had good conversation and a nice time talking about the relatives I saw this China trip.
He drove me to the station and on the way we also talked about life. It’s amazing how much he is capable of, and how mentally tough he is.
Looking for part time jobs..
I was at a cafe, starting to feel bored and my default usually is to get food to numb this negative emotion.
But this time I did my body scan mediation that calmed me down.
I journaled a bit afterwards.
After a while, I sat at another cafe, and boredom and anxiety made me automatically plan my binge. But I did the Lovingkindness meditation.
Before doing it, I thought that it may be too much meditation, as I already did it once today.
But who am I kidding.
I never think about too much binging.
There can never be enough mediation.
This one helped me calm down and it took away that binge temptation.
The key is to do it in the moment.
I came home around 6pm and it was so frustrating how my sister just lied about not entering my room. No matter how many times I tell her to not, she goes into my room to mess with my stuff.
I did the mountain mediation but couldn’t focus. It did calm me down a bit.
I just can’t beat her of her lack of self-discipline. It’s actually my issue that I cannot face this part of her because it resembles the part of me that is so hard to accept.
I had been just eating and eating in my room. I just can’t face the reality.
I did Try the body scan mediation but half way through, I stopped. Because reality keeps popping in my mind. I just want to numb it out.
Instead, I listened to podcasts and YouTube on Glennon Doyle Melton, school of greatness, and Tony Robbins.
Tomorrow will be a greater day.
**You might have realized how much I go to cafes.
A cup of coffee and the atmosphere where you are not alone yet in a public sphere, gives me peace.
I get that I spend a lot of money, but I try to think of it as buying peacefulness.