I have a hard time belonging to a single group.
I always find myself group hopping, as I cannot fully commit to one group.
I think I just stay in the safe place of being a “guest” in any group.
It protects me from dealing with group conflicts, as I just move onto the next group.
I can just stay superficial.
I don’t have to face the real stuff.
Or maybe I m afraid to be fully known by anyone.
It’s a safe place. But it’s too safe.
It’s like staying in your room forever. You can avoid certain pain, but nothing happens at all.
We can’t selectively avoid. When we do avoid, we are distancing both the pleasure and pain from us.
That’s why I m always left feeling alone and foreign.
There’s seemingly no pain but no true fellowship either.